When I was a little kid, living up in Illinois, it wasn’t uncommon for relatives to come over, steal your bed, and you’d end up on the couch with your two sisters and their long ass dagger toenails. Back then, couches were meant for normal sized people, not the super-sized people that we see today. No offense super-sized people, I was there. Because my sisters and I were little, we all fit on our couch, well sort of.
If I’d go to a friend’s house, say one that has 7 brothers and sisters, you’d just hang up the hope that you’d end up in a bed no, you’d get the couch. Good thing your friend owns a pair of clippers, unlike your rabid wild animal sisters.
If we’d go to a relative’s house, we’d get shafted again and end up on the couch or the floor . . . being on the floor depended on rank and if you’d have to share the couch with a cousin who had restless body syndrome, you’d end up on the floor at some point in the night so sometimes, even though your rank was higher, you’d just save yourself the fall off the couch and start there.
Not once, in all the time I lived with my parents growing up, did I see one of them on the couch after a fight or something. Not once. They never fought in front of us so I had an altered sense of what marriage was supposed to look like in this department so my first year of knock down drag out fighting with the ex was quite alarming as you can imagine. I should have known then . . .
Fast forward some . . .
Aside from the sleepovers where you’d end up on the couch or better yet, your friend had a double bed so you’d just bunk with her, there were a vast amount of other reasons you’d find your ass on a couch for slumber.
Now, awhile ago my folks had a lake house. It was one of the coolest places around and I absolutely loved being there. After 182 hours in the sun, though, you’d heat stroke it out, become tired, and end up on one of their 2 lake house couches. This couch beat out any fancy schmancy ole top of the line mattress, I swear. It was the most comfortable nap or good night sleep if your ex snores like a banshee, you’d ever get.
After the lake house was sold, I ended up with those couches and boy do they have some good sleeping and lounging memories. Good times y’all, good times.
In those 16 years of torcher, I found myself happily sleeping on the couch quite a lot. It was sad really how much I slept on the couch. I had a special little leg rest that opened up for storage where I’d keep all my bedding because it got to be so often that it became necessary.
Aside from sleeping on the couch after yet another fight, I’d often find myself on there because even though I had supposed sound proof ear plugs, the snoring somehow penetrated even the guarantee that I’d hear nothing that came with those ear plugs. Not kidding. Losing sleep was killing me and making me quite the zombie. Come to think of it, I may just very well have been an unbeknownst to me founding zombie apocalypse member because my lack of sleep was quite bad at times and I looked like hell.
The last two of the 16 years, when it got so bad I just wanted the hell out but wasn’t “allowed,” the couch became my permanent bed. As I lay there at night looking out the windowed back wall into the night sky or the woods, I felt sad in so many ways that I had given up 16 of my years and for what . . . well, to sleep on the couch I guess.
Now, my 16-year sacrifice gave me my two kids and they are pure awesome! It also taught me a lot about abuse, what I wanted, and what I didn’t want. If there was to ever be a next time to fall in love, my expectations were vastly different and my signals to failure were crystal clear now.
Cue the Professor . . .
The Professor suffered a similar marriage like mine but his end result was horrible, especially for his three kids and later, after he got much necessary custody of them, he realized that they were gifts too and even though the marriage was not a good one either, there were blessings and maybe made the suffering understandable.
The Professor and I don’t bicker much, we really don’t and in the almost 5 years we have been together, 4 as a married unit at the end of this July, I have only slept on the couch once and he has slept on the couch maybe 3 times because of a bicker session. Otherwise, we fall asleep on the couch by accident and remain there ’til the wee hours of the night before we realize our sleeping arrangement is in the wrong place. Oh sure, we try to pry each other off of the couch to gently lead the confused sleeper to the right area, but sometimes we are just too weary.
My couch life has probably been a lot more than some as my life has floated along, sometimes there were rapids, sometimes a waterfall plunging me downward onto the jagged rocks below, but my plunging couch life days are over, well, 99.5% over. Sure, we will bicker and end up on the couch eventually but a solid couch life neither one of us will have, I am 100% sure of that much.
I thank God every day for my second chance at love and no, blending a family is NOT perfect and it sux quite a lot sometimes but as I have said before, I’m loving every minute of it.