In this day and age of Uber, there is no reason you should drive around damn drunk. Amen! But no, you losers continue to drink, load your sorry ass up into your automobile, and risk killing yourself, maybe a passenger if you have a dumb ass friend in there with you, oh and perhaps an innocent family coming back from dinner. Or . . . in the case last night, t-boning your neighbor’s parked car.
So, here’s the scene last night . . .
Like any Saturday night, I was seated at my place on the couch waiting for my husband to come back in from letting the dogs out with our movie on pause when all of a sudden, I hear screeching and then that dull thud you hear when a car hits another car. As I leaped up to go see what the hell just happened, my husband comes scrambling inside saying, “Someone just hit something out front!”
Here’s what we see at 7:45 pm last night . . . in our cul-de-sac we see a white truck sitting in front facing the house across the street from us, mind you our cul-de-sac is huge, so they were kinda far off, it was raining, and what in the hell? My neighbor’s truck was moved from its perpendicular position to the curb and the whole passenger side was smashed the hell up.
My husband goes running out into the cul-de-sac in the rain, as some big ass man staggers out of the driver’s seat and then I see a small man sprinting from the passenger seat for the house that the truck is parked in front of and let himself in the front door. In the meantime, my husband is talking down the gigantic drunk stranger who is staggering around with his insurance card in hand slurring, “I have insurance,” and attempting to go door to door to let all the neighbors know that his drunk ass has insurance. My husband yells to be to call 911, which I do because large drunk guy starts getting stabby. I have to call the cops twice because it is taking forever for them to get there and drunk dude has tried to get into his truck and drive again.
By this time, the whole cul-de-sac crew has come out of their houses to see what in the hell was going on. Cue the next character . . .
I see the front door of the house that the little drunk guy ran into and one of the most glory-assed women comes waddling up to my husband and starts yelling at him telling him not to bother her brother and why is she harassing him and was he in the truck with them and all kinds of hysterical nonsense. Finally, the cops show up but I’ve noticed that they don’t come alone anymore. No, a fleet of cop cars fills up our cul-de-sac along with a little girl ride along ranger who was about 17 maybe, on the job to learn. It looked like a damn cop block party complete with disco lights and a large drunk man and his glory-assed hysterical sister.
Now, what really pisses me the hell off is the circumstance of my neighbor whose truck was hit. Ya see they weren’t home because the husband is very ill and in the hospital ICU. He also just paid that damn truck off on Wednesday and now it’s damn Saturday and some drunk dumb ass has destroyed the passenger side of it. I had to call the wife and tell her what happened and it pained me it really did but she was thankful I told her.
Evidently, because the cops didn’t see the drunk guy behind the wheel, he didn’t get arrested last night but probably will today.
Here’s the kicker, I was standing out in my front yard earlier today observing my neighbor’s beat up truck and I’ll be damned if skinny drunk last night guy and big ass drunk ass guy are in some other car pulling out of the driveway of the house that skinny boy fled to, they both look over at the smashed up truck as they pass it, and I’m not kidding, they start laughing. If I had a rock in my hand, it would have gone through their damn windshield. What the hell kind of morons are we living across from?
Now, the moral of the story is don’t drink and drive period! Call Uber, get their app, it’s really easy. If you don’t know what Uber is, Google it, if you are stupid or a dumb ass like the man last night, then you maybe you shouldn’t have a license or a truck for that matter.
Dumb Ass Driving Under the Influence . . . that’s all you are is a big fat dumb ass!
Y’all pray for my neighbor, he needs them and while you’re at it, pray for dumb asses, Lord knows they need our prayers too.