When I was a little girl, yes, “100 years ago,” I had the most perfect vision that I likened it to that of Superman’s x-ray vision or whichever superhero had that, hell, I don’t remember, I’m losing that too, my memory.
I remember when one of my friends had to get glasses, I felt like the poor thing had caught the plague. I felt so sad for her having to support some very unattractive glasses and alas, she did too.
You see back then, we didn’t have 5,437 different brands and styles to choose from. Ya had maybe a dozen and fashionable glasses were not a top priority back then, believe me, just look at Harry Caray’s giganto glasses. Love that guy but those glasses…
I had good vision up until college because prior to that, I didn’t read or study much. Yes, I sucked at school thanks to ADHD and very low motivation. My parents wondered if I would be a failure to launch kind of girl but once I got to college I thought, “There is no way in hell I’m living with my parents for the rest of my life. I gotta get my shit together and now is the time!”
So I did and because of all of the reading and studying close up, my far away vision began to suffer. Now, there were a few more additions to the glasses selection but I’ll tell you right now that my mom wasn’t about to fork over $300 for the most fashionable glasses and I wouldn’t let her anyway because I’m no fashionista, trust me.
I was plagued with the glasses I so hated but it was quite necessary because I couldn’t see squat otherwise. It sucked because they hurt my nose and my ears so eventually, I got the other plague of having to make contact with my eye in an unnatural way with my finger and a little circle of soft plastic. It took me awhile to be okay with invading my eye with plastic and my finger as I had a very strong blink reflex. Oh hell, and don’t put them in backward, that feels like you just put on a shirt or your underwear on backward. It feels freaking weird. Oh lord, and don’t sleep in them either because the next morning, you feel like you have tape on each eye and getting them off well, imagine pulling tape off of your eyeball. It’s no picnic, y’all.
So I stayed in contacts until about 10-12 years ago, hell I don’t remember really, and ended up allowing another human being to burn out my corneas with a laser as he made small talk and I smelled my burning flesh. He was also grossly near my face and had bad breath, just the bonus I needed intermingling with my burning flesh smell.
I have to admit though, the next morning after the eye burning, I began crying at the miracle of being able to see without glasses or contacts. It was AMAZING!!
But, I was warned by the flesh burner that it may move forward my need to have reading glasses and as I chuckled at him in disbelief of this thinking he was just silly, little did I know that I would have a new plague to deal with a little later on.
I now have 692 pair of reading glasses scattered all around my life. They are in every room of the house for example, I have a pair in the bathroom for light reading if I have to stay a bit longer than normal, on my bedside table so I can read the clock in the middle of the night to see how many more precious sleep minutes I have, I have a pair next to where I sit at night to relax with the Professor and watch our TV shows, I have 3 in the kitchen, no 4, because 1 isn’t enough evidently, I have 2 pair in the car, one in the laundry room, about 7 in the clinic, and so on and so on.
Now, before the Professor got progressive bifocals, he would borrow my readers and if I couldn’t find them where they were supposed to be, I’d have a come apart . . . a bad one!
I now have to wear damn reading glasses to see my food y’all and one time I went to a new restaurant with the Professor in another town, and he and I had to pass my readers back and forth to read the damn menu. The other day, while at lunch with my kids, I made my son go back out to the car and get my readers so I could read the menu and see my food.
This not seeing up close crap sucks and drives me to madness ESPECIALLY when I can’t find one of my 692 pairs. I went so far as to buy a string so I could wear them around my neck and then almost hung myself and then knocked out an OT kid when I bent over to help him with something and they swung forward and whacked him. That was short lived.
I’ve even heard of this new eye surgery where they can correct it and I’d love to get it but you have to have money to pay the eye burner and because it’s so new, that scares me too. Plus my far away vision is still 20/20 and my fear is it will turn into some damn see-saw where I will lose my far vision again and then be back getting my eye burned every few years.
I also recently found out another little nugget of information about my eyes, I have the beginnings of glaucoma. Will my visual nightmares ever end?
Bringing all of my complaining into perspective though . . . I’m damn thankful I can see. I saw Edward Scissor Arms yesterday and I laughed my ass off at those deadly swinging arms on his morning walk, I’m just glad I could see him. I love looking at my smiling or laughing children and I especially love looking at the Professor. I love seeing a good sunset, I love looking at my friend’s horses, and I love looking at all of the beauty the good Lord has provided us. Although my vision is blurry and requires a little crutch, I can still see and that’s truly what matters.
My thought for the day is even if your parts aren’t perfect but they are still functioning even with help, be thankful, y’all, be thankful.